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03 January 2010 @ 04:22 pm
2009: top ten (film).  
I only saw 18 brand-new films in 2009. I thought this would make ranking them a bit easier - but I was sorely mistaken. After much deliberation, I've managed a top 10, a few honorable mentions, and... well... the ones that were... special snowflakes (for lack of better phrasing).

2009: TOP TEN (FILM).

THE BEST


1. Thirst (Park Chan-wook)
Park Chan-wook's dramatic, horror-filled romance about a priest who receives a life-changing blood transfusion that turns him into a vampire. An absolutely gorgeous film starring Song Kang-ho (as the priest) and Kim Ok-bin (as the woman he loves). Fans of Park Chan-wook's work will not be disappointed - this film has everything. There's the blood and violence of his action films (such as Oldboy and Sympathy for Lady Vengeance) as well as the tender, heartfelt moments of his previous romantic comedy I'm a Cyborg But That's OK (2006; starring Im Su-jeong and Rain), and - of course - amazing performances from all involved.

2. Sherlock Holmes (Guy Ritchie)
A highly enjoyable mystery-action-comedy film introducing a new generation to the famous literary characters of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle in an all-new adventure. Starring Robery Downey Jr. (and the eponymous Holmes) and Jude Law (as his partner-in-crime Dr. John Watson), Sherlock Holmes fully immerses its audience in the world of Victorian England, paying immense respect to the original source material. And oh yes - there will be a sequel. With Brad Pitt as Prof. Moriarty. Shhhh.

3. Star Trek (J.J. Abrams)
J.J. Abrams's reboot of the classic science-fiction franchise is not only a prequel - but a prequel set in an alternate universe. It stars starring Chris Pine (as James T. Kirk), Zachary Quinto (as Spock), Zoe Saldana (as Uhura), and Simon Pegg (as Scotty) - amongst others - aboard the newly built USS Enterprise. Think of it as Star Trek for the non-Trekkie. It's an action-packed popcorn flick. With substance.

4. Zombieland (Ruben Fleischer)
In my personal opinion, the best zombie-comedy since 2004's Shaun of the Dead. Zombieland tells the story of four survivors of the zombie apocalypse (Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, and Abigail Breslin) as they travel cross-country to Los Angeles. Along the way, they follow a set of "rules" to stay alive - as well as try to "enjoy the little things". They also break into Bill Murray's house - but I'm not going to give the rest away. Now the top-grossing zombie film in all of motion picture history, Zombieland delivers non-stop laughs and gore as well as fully-rounded characters for an overall amazing film.

5. Watchmen (Zac Snyder)
Based on Alan Moore's classic DC graphic novel, Watchmen isn't your normal superhero film (which is what a lot of people had a problem with...). Instead it paints a more human picture of ex-superheroes and their attempts to change an alternate version of 1985, where the Cold War never ended, costumed heroes are outlawed, and the threat of doomsday looms closer with each passing day. Snyder does a wonderful job with staying close to the original source material and presenting it how it should be presented. Although... one wonders where the GIANT VAGINA MONSTER disappeared to. Hrmm.



6. The Uninvited (The Guard Brothers)
One of the best Asian horror remakes since Gore Verbinski's The Ring (2002). Based on the Korean film A Tale of Two Sisters (2003, dir. Kim Ji-woon), The Uninvited is the story of Anna (played by Emily Browning), who comes home after being sent to an institution following the traumatic death of her mother. After several strange events happen to her, she becomes convinced that the new woman his father plans to marry is the one responsible for her mother's death. She works with her older sister Alex (played by Arielle Kebbel) to uncover the truth. A wonderful film. And to be honest? I liked it more than the original. Oops.

7. Sunshine Cleaning (Christine Jeffs)
An independent dramedy starring Amy Adams and Emily Blunt as two sisters who decide to start a crime scene clean-up business all while dealing with their personal problems and each other. If you loved Little Miss Sunshine (2006, dir. Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris), then this film is for you.

8. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (Stephen Sommers)
This film is terrible. So terrible. But I really don't care. It's a non-stop, action-packed popcorn flick based on a line of action figures. If you go into this film expecting a masterpiece of the craft, then you've only disappointed yourself. Sorry.

9. Jennifer's Body (Karyn Kusama)
I didn't really like Juno. And the combination of Diablo Cody and Megan Fox really didn't make me want to run to see this film. But one day I was bored... and I sat down and watched it. And I was incredibly surprised. Jennifer's Body is much, much better than I thought it was going to be. It's a dark horror-comedy about two best friends and what happens to their town after a visiting rock band perform a Satanic ritual in order to become popular.

10.Ninja Assassin (James McTeigue)
The second completely terrible film on this list. The plot is non-existent. And it's nothing but blood and gore and violence for close to two hours. Why is it even on this list, may you ask? Because if you're in the mood for senseless violence and ninjas and assassin's and Rain - then this is the perfect film for you.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

1. Saw VI (Kevin Greutert)
The best Saw film since 2006's Saw III. This only gives me high hopes for the next (and last) installment in the series.

2. Coraline (Henry Selick)
The wonderful stop-motion animated film based on Neil Gaiman's classic children's book of the same name. It was a treat to watch.

WTF WAS THAT?
If you couldn't tell from the reviews above... I started losing steam about halfway through. And I don't even think these films deserve reviews. That's why I wrote a sentence for each.


1. Paranormal Activity
A low-budget horror film just as terrible as The Blair Witch Project (1999) where the only thing scarier than the last five or so minutes is the fact that you just sat there waiting for something to happen for over an hour.

2. The Haunting in Connecticut
Another terrible Lions Gate film supposedly based on a true story about a family that moves into a haunted house and don't get the hint that they should get the fuck out before things get serious.

3. Push
I don't even remember what happened in this film, other than the fact that Dakota Fannning was there and everyone was in China and people had super powers.

4. My Bloody Valentine 3D
An insult to anyone's intelligence, this is a great example of why remakes shouldn't involve COMPLETE REWRITES OF THE SCRIPT (also Jensen Ackles).

5. Drag Me to Hell
A terrible horror-comedy from Sam Raimi that could have been saved - if only Bruce Campbell were there.

6. Bride Wars
The best part of this (other than the cat fight at the end) was Anne Hathaway's drunken party-crashing... and that was about it.
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to_no_avail: Zefronto_no_avail on January 3rd, 2010 09:30 pm (UTC)
DER DERR???

Edited at 2010-01-03 09:31 pm (UTC)
sammiface!: hhn | xix → this totally makes sense.chibijelly on January 3rd, 2010 09:37 pm (UTC)
prescott_ivprescott_iv on January 3rd, 2010 09:49 pm (UTC)
D:
drag me to hell was fantastic.
sammiface!: film | boomstick → keep talking.chibijelly on January 3rd, 2010 09:53 pm (UTC)
It's fantastic for me to make fun of.

I don't even know - it could have been better. D:
prescott_ivprescott_iv on January 3rd, 2010 09:56 pm (UTC)
it is kind of hard to figure out how you feel about it, I get that. beacuse it's kind of ridiuclous- but to me in the same way that evil dead II was.

i dunno, I was just so excited for Sam to be making a horror again. without Katie Holmes. that alone makes it pretty awesome.
sammiface!: film | cabin → in the woods.chibijelly on January 3rd, 2010 09:58 pm (UTC)
I guess maybe I just had high expectations? D:
prescott_ivprescott_iv on January 3rd, 2010 09:59 pm (UTC)
yeah i was kind of expecting more, but I was still pleased with what I saw.

OH WELL.
sammiface!chibijelly on January 3rd, 2010 10:09 pm (UTC)
There's always next time. D:
Miss Kitty Fantastico[Bi-Furious]: My President Is A Badasssweetnovicane on January 4th, 2010 12:50 am (UTC)
MAAAAAAAAAAAAA >|
jtheweathertoday on January 4th, 2010 04:10 am (UTC)
I love that you actually wrote reviews! Now I think I'll put Sunshine Cleaning on my to-watch list :3

LOL god Push was so awful and cheesy.
sammiface!: music | 2pm → surprise!chibijelly on January 4th, 2010 04:22 am (UTC)
It was strenuous, but yes. I wrote reviews. (Or at least tried to.)

I think you'll really enjoy Sunshine Cleaning. It was wonderful.

OMG PUSH. I don't even remember the majority of it. I think I fell asleep a few times.
Miss Elvira Taylorvalondra21 on January 13th, 2010 07:49 am (UTC)
love Thirst, best by far
sammiface!: film | 박쥐 → together in hell.chibijelly on January 14th, 2010 01:54 am (UTC)
Thirst is so wonderful.